May 26: Today Andrew and I arrive to find that the cows have somehow lifted the loop on the Texas gate and let themselves into pasture #1 from the native grass pasture where they were supposed to be. We were moving them to #2S this morning anyway, so we walk them out of #1 over to the fresh pasture. As they trot in, I see something white sitting in the grass. A cattle egret! The herd sees it too and they all veer toward it on their eager dash to fresh grass. The egret flies up–sensibly!–on seeing the approach of about 8000 pounds of cattle flesh, and I think that is the end of that. But it only flies a short distance and settles again on the other side of the field. Surprisingly, the herd continues on too, a tight little group all running together, four big mamas, four yearling calves, with little Sparkle out in front, and they continue to chase after the egret, scaring it up again! The bird is reluctant to go, and tries one more time to land…….but here comes the galloping group swinging around at full speed in a tight little bunch, a speeding comet swinging through the grass as they run at it yet again, seemingly for the sheer fun of seeing the big white bird fly, all the mamas forgetting their size (and their age!) for a moment in this joyful race together around the pasture. This is the best of this bunch–no one left out, no one saying what a dumb idea to chase this big bird around, just all of them running together in this shared moment in the morning light.

The next week Andrew and I come down with the trailer and quietly coax the four older calves in for the ride up to El Potrero to separate them from the bull who will be coming off range in a week. Our snatch-and-grab goes almost unnoticed as the mamas have their head in some hay and the calves are curious about this new trailer-thingy, but by evening the calves are restless in their pen at El Potrero, and the younger two are bawling for their mamas. Back at Mason’s, the other three mamas are following Melody as she pounds up and down the length of the lane looking in every bush and tree for her little Song. It is heartbreaking to be the one responsible for disrupting this idyllic group. They have spent the winter together loafing, exploring, learning, and have seemed to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Hard to break that up, but time keeps moving on…

The week after the weaning–on June 8–we bring the whole herd off range, trailer-load after trailer-load getting dropped off at the Mason Pastures with all the fuss and commotion of reunions and the resumption of old friendships or feuds. The pastures are full of life again and I hope this eases the mamas on toward their future…the next calf, the pleasure of evening grazing, or the full moon on a warm summer night. It is nice to have the herd mostly together again in one spot, and while I miss the long winter walks on range, it is nice not to have to keep track of the cattle in three places at once.

The next day I drive up to close the gate onto our range land, and look over into the dry scrubby washes that have become so familiar to me over the last months. Without the cows out there somewhere it seems empty and a little lonely. The open gate lies on the ground forlornly askew. Even the breeze in the mesquite seems kind of empty. I feel again in my heart the passage of time and the unrepeatable nature of our experience. What’s here today is gone tomorrow, and there is nothing any of us can do about it, other than get in the current and swim. 

That evening, I check on the main herd at Masons at dusk, to find a new little brown calf snuggled next to Velma’s legs! There was good reason for her to be the slowest one off range yesterday! As I sit nearby to watch him, each of the herd members comes up close to the calf in the darkness, sniffing him gently, welcoming him. I feel a nudge at my elbow and here’s Stu, the tame yearling steer, behind me wanting his chin scratched. He continues to follow me around as I check in with the other animals. Contentment lies over the herd this evening. And the ebb and flood of life just keeps going and going and going. Pain, loss, love, kindness. The hard days. The sweet moments. The endings and beginnings. All of it is all tangled up together. Inseparable. Unstoppable. I ask only to be present to it all with compassion——for myself and for my fellow creatures.